Just to bring you up to date, Jessica and I have alter-egos named Porscha and Venus. (She's Porscha and I'm Venus) ...............we use these names when we are pretending to be someone other than ourselves....like fun chicks who are risky and living life on the edge!)
Porscha: Are you going to Heathers "jewelry party" tomorrow night? I haven’t decided yet. Maybe a night out with the girls would be fun… How’s life in Jenny land?
Venus: Yes, I am……………… (going to the party that is) I’ll probably just go there from work, making my arrival time roughly 5:30PM. I’m gonna pick up some "Sparks" and start drinking out on Heathers back deck, while she’s preparing for her party. (I might just pretend it’s Friday and pretend that I don’t have to work in the morning and party like it’s “1999”.) I’ll make sure I bring my “coyote ugly butt-less chaps” with me……..and I’m gonna go home and practice Thriller tonight!
Life’s good….. but unfortunately, I’m still Fat! (I’m going to start working on that little problem “tomorrow”!) I need to lose about 30 pounds so I can squeeze my big ass into my ’I dream of Jeanie’ costume for Halloween!
I’m white and pastey looking! (I’ll have to make some tanning appointments!) I have a growth growing on my nose.....I think they call it a 'skin tag', (and it sticks out like a sore thumb since I have no tan! )
My hair is driving me nuts! I have BANGS, split ends and dark roots! (Note to self: Make hair appointment).
I’m going to start buying lotto tickets so I can win the lottery! (I may even share with my friends, unless of course they piss me of prior to winning my millions!)
I’m looking forward to seeing you on “MSU/Michigan game day”! (If you guys still invite us over! That is, if I haven't pissed YOU off just prior to game day!) Looking forward to watching Jack grab a flag! (And I seriously need to talk to TJ about Hooters!)
So much to do, so little time!
(I think I’ll make a story on my blog about this e-mail! What do you think?)