Poor "Hairyman".....

My friend Porscha sent me the following e-mail ............

I hate people that say, "He's a nice person once you get to know him."   They might as well just say "He's a jerk but you'll get used to it."                    

~author unknown~

She said it reminded her of 'Hairyman'!  (.....yes, my friends have high opinions of my hubby, don't they?!)

(........too be honest....if you knew Hairyman, you'd probably agree with her.....)

 

Hairyman once told me that I wasn't supposed to 'DIS' him

on here or make him look like an 'ass'.......but I couldn't resist - because I love this quote and it is very fitting of him.....so yes....it looks like I'm breaking the rules!

 

But he'll get over it.......that is - once I bribe him with

sexual favors and all...........   (....I'm just sayin'.....)

Free Magnets...... anyone?

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who

takes the time to read my blog. 

If you would like a free magnet.....all you have to do is:

1.) Request one  AND  2.) Follow my blog

That's all I ask..............

What kind of freakin' lacy belt is that?

I have this friend – let’s call her ‘Cinnamon’, okay ......(for the sake of this story)...? 

So Cinnamon and I are really good friends, right - so we decided to go shopping the other day.  Picture us deep in our shopping festivities in Macy’s - she's in one aisle a few rows away - and I look at her from where I'm standing......  she’s got this belt thing going on around her sweater……she’s wearing a brown sweater and it looks like she’s got this rope belt or white twine around her waist…..and I can’t be sure (...I certainly don't THING I'm drunk yet....).... but I don’t think she was wearing a belt this morning.  I don’t really think too much about it and I go back to my shopping.   Then about one hour later we happen to be standing right next to each other looking at 'running shorts' in the athletic department (…..what the hell I’m doing in the athletic department.....looking at running shorts is beyond me since I haven’t RAN anywhere – let alone done any physical exercise in about 15 years, mind you….)  ….(HEY – DON’T JUDGE ME!)   

Anyway, I look at Cinnamon’s waist and she IS wearing a belt……around her waist….it’s white looking….kinda like yarn or twine or lace – or something like that…....and it's REALLY UGLY..…..and if the truth be known….it doesn't even look like a belt.........it looks totally ridiculous around her waist over her brown sweater!  And I'm thinking WTF? 

I look at her – I grab it and I say, (and I quote):  “What the hell is this?  You look ridiculous ......were you gonna buy this rope belt thing or something?’   ...(maybe it's the Vodka talking ...and I'm thinking maybe I AM drunk....)......She looks at me like I'm crazy and replies, "What are you talking about?"  ..................she glances down at where I'm grabbing her lacy-belt-rope-thingy and her eyes get wide........I mean like a 'Deer in Headlights Kinda Wide!'  

Come to find out - the white looking rope-twine-lacy thing around her waist wasn't a belt at all....

Get this - People!

(.........you're gonna freakin' DIE........)

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It's her freakin' THONG UNDERWEAR .........evidently, sometime during the day the crotch of her underwear had broken/ripped apart and her thong had creeped up around her waist and eventually made it up over her sweater.........

Once she figured out what it was, she ripped it off - totally mortified and we both laughed our asses off.........she'd been freakiin' wearing her ripped underwear around her waist all day long.............

Freakin' PRICELESS!!!!!

....and the winner is....

I'm so excited.  I have a winner of the 'Fashion to Figure' giveaway that I featured on my blog HERE!   I'd like to thank the ladies who took the time to go visit the Fashion to Figure website and enter the giveaway.  I wish each of you could win something, but unfortunately there can only be one winner.   

After drawing the winner randomly, I'd like to congratulate the lucky winner...... Judi Anderson, (...one of my blogging friends who follows my blog anonymously!)   Congrat's Judi!  You'll be able to pick one free item (of $30.00 or less) off of the FASHION TO FIGURE Website!  And I'd like to thank you for following my blog posts and supporting my Blog!

And a BIG THANK YOU to EVERYONE who follows my blog posts .......you're ALL the best!

(Judi, please e-mail me within 48 hours and I'll tell you the details of your prize!)   

                 

I Binged, I peed my pants and have I told you how pathetic I am?

The following is an email that I sent to my friend Heather today:

 

I am such a loser........I just took a lunch and I binged again!      I could punch myself right in the face!    I ate a BBQ chicken sandwich and 3 onion wraps from the gas station, then I went to McDonalds and ate 4 chicken McNuggets and 1 McDonald Angus Mushroom and Swiss Wrap.    Now I feel miserable!  ....and I had to unbutton my pants....so now I'm sitting here at work with my pants undone and that's not the half of it..........

.......I tried to make myself sick when I got back to work but that didn't work.........while I had a finger down my throat.....bent over the toilet....dry-heaving -  I pissed myself!    So now I not only feel like a HOG - I smell like urine!             ......yes, I know I have issues, people!

2 more days.........

Only 2 more days to enter my 'Fashion to Figure' giveaway HERE!  Enter to win an item (One FREE item for $30.00 or less) from Fashion to Figure!

'FASHION TO FIGURE' Giveaway

I’m so excited today because I am doing my first giveaway.    (….insert ‘Happy Dance’….)   I’m partnering with ‘FASHION TO FIGURE'– a women’s full-fashion company that carry trendy and fashionable clothes for plus size women.  They think I’m pretty cool (…..well, helllooooo…..) so they’ve asked me if I want to do a giveaway!  (….can you imagine?  ….little ole’ me? )  They have really trendy clothes at great prices………what more could we women want, right?

So here's the scoop.............when Jessica at ‘FASHION TO FIGURE' contacted me and told me that I could either 1.) review an item from their site for free  OR  2.) do a giveaway for my readers………..naturally, I wanted to share the love....(.....cause that's how I am, girlfriends.....)   So THEN I went to their site and placed my own little order for a cute little slinky summer dress …(…which I’ll tell you all about when it comes….) … and decided to feature a giveaway so that one of you could win something from this awesome site.

So listen closely because if you follow the rules, one of you could win and be able to choose one item off their site that is $30.00 or less!   (…cool beans, right?...)   So this is all you have to do for one chance to win:

1.)    Click HERE to go to the FASHION TO FIGURE site.

2.)    Leave a comment below telling me that you visited the site and choose one thing ($30.00 or less) off the site that you would love to have.  (….keep in mind that this site has much more than clothes for full figured women.............in other words, if you’re one of those skinny girls who sport a size 4 or 5…….you know - the kind of woman that we ‘big boned ladies’ all hate, you could always pick out another item….like a piece of jewelry, or a bag, or a scarf…etc…..)  

  *The winner will receive 1 item at $30.00 or less from FASHION TO FIGURE

*This giveaway is only open to domestic US addresses

*There will be one winner chosen to win this giveaway

*Winner must reply to email notification with 48 hours of delivery or a new winner will be chosen

*Winner will be chosen randomly

*This giveaway will end in 10 days - Friday, April 13, 2012 at 12Midnight (EST)

 So make sure you keep in touch so you’ll know if I draw your name!  Good Luck, girlfriends! 

PEEPS, anyone?

Am I the only one on this planet who doesn't like Easter Peeps?   I don't know what all the big deal IS with these things!  They're freakin' GROSS, people!  (...Is this what we really want your children eating?)

I did go out and buy some the other day just so I could go home and cut all their heads off!  I flushed the heads down the toilet and put their bodies down the garbage disposal! 

  ....(.....these things aren't like worms are they?  They're not gonna grow back their
appendages are they?  Like - are the heads in the toilet going to grow bodies and are
the bodies in the garbage disposal going to suddenly grow back heads?    I hope not........
...because I'm fairly certain they're gonna be pissed..........and I have enough
to worry about what with the gnomes and all!)