I Don't Feel Too Good........

This week at work I’m in charge of sending letters to some of our current customers. So, needless to say – I’ll be mail merging, folding letters, stuffing and ‘LICKING’ envelopes all week. (Yes – I prefer to lick the 1500 letters that need to be mailed opposed to using the little water sponges or ‘licker devises’ that technology has come up with)….……..it tends to go faster just using my tongue and my own saliva………..AND YES…I know, I know…….…I’m well aware of the URBAN LEGENDS that speak of dead rats at the bottom of the glue barrel in the factories………and the fact that the factories use whatever water is handy to thin out the glue, which would include old mop water and human urine………(are you kidding me) …….…and how a woman cut her tongue on an envelope that was infested with roach eggs and days later her tongue became swollen and started to shake and later exploded due to the baby roaches hatching in her tongue………………(simply impossible – by the way)…….

The fact that the glue is starting to make me SICK is what’s really bothering me…..I’m not feeling too good right now………..starting to feel faint and dizzy - due to the 800 envelopes that I’ve licked so far…….hopefully I don’t die from glue poisoning like Susan, George's fiancé, did on that episode of Seinfeld. (Susan, George’s fiancé died from cheap envelope glue after George buys cheap wedding invitations.)

I'll keep you posted if I live thru all this envelope licking business.................

(Pholo courtesy of Seinfeld - Learn from George's fiancee: never buy the cheap envelopes.)