Thursday, August 25, 2011

'My Freak Sunflower Seed Accident'

I've been eating sunflower seeds all day long today (....which I'm guessing
might have something to do with me being fat and all......just a
thought..........)
.....anyway......beside the fact that I've ate so many of
them
today that my mouth is actually RAW and I have NO SENSE OF TASTE left
on my tongue
......well, you know how you're supposed to break the outer seed
of the sunflower seed in your mouth, eat the soft innards and SPIT OUT the
hard shell?    Well, to my horror - I just did the opposite..............I
just SPIT OUT the 'inner soft part' and SWALLOWED the hard shell..........WHOLE........I swallowed it FREAKIN' WHOLE - PEOPLE......................... in
fact, I can't be sure....but I think I might be choking to death RIGHT
NOW
......as we speak.........

......hypothetically..... let's just say I DON'T choke to death ....  I can tell you RIGHT
NOW I have the hard shell of a sunflower seed LODGED in the back of my
throat
.......I can feel it grinding into my skin every time I swallow..............yes I can........and it was a freakin' huge seed too......sorta
the size of a 'Lincoln Log'
........(......but a Lincoln Log that's been
sharpened on both ends, mind you.........)....
and every time I swallow I can feel it
digging deeper into the flesh of my throat and I'm sure it's working it's
way to the base of my skull where it will then make its way into my spinal
cord ............and eventually that seed is gonna get LODGED in my spinal
cord and paralyze me and it's not gonna be a good thing.......not a very
good thing AT ALL
...........and when THAT happens.... (...you know when I'm
paralyzed and everything.....) 
... you'll all probably be wishing you
would've paid a little more attention to me when I was telling you about
my 'freak sunflower seed accident!'  ...............(.....I'm just sayin'.........)

3 comments:

  1. Yeah, but think of it this way. If it gets lodged in your spinal cord, it will start growing sunflowers. To bad it isn't lodged at the bottom of your spinal cord, cuz then you could say you sunflowers growing out of your ass. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. that is one large sunflower seed woman! i have this image in my mind right now.... at least it's sunflowers and not oh something like pecan shells... much better to have a sunflower growing out of the skull than a pecan tree

    ReplyDelete

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