Have You Ever Wednesday........

Have you ever been having a conversation with someone….and you find yourself thinking that MAYBE the person that you’re talking to might NOT be a person at all……….but an alien from another planet who is dressed up as a human.......…pretending to be a person…….......and instead of using their 'alien language voice' while they are talking to you....…….they’re using one of those 'vocal control contraptions' on their larynx (that you see in the movies) that make themselves SOUND human …......and their skin is actually FAKE SKIN that they’ve stretched out and they are wearing over their green slimey lizard skin and it makes you wonder?  

And you try not to think of them being an alien and all......and you try not to think of their skin suddenly ripping open to reveal a grotesque serpent who's ready to drain the blood from your body and eat your brain..................and...you start, let's see......thinking about Zebra's for instance.......but you're mind keep wondering back to what's actually under their skin........and how they're gonna rip off your head...........

And THEN you reach out and pinch them on the face......really hard……… and that’s when you realize that you’ve let your imagination get away from you again?
(photo courtesy of the internet)

Have you ever Wednesday……….

Have you ever Wednesday……….

Have you ever been taking a romantic hike in a ‘forest reserve’ with your husband……..walking peacefully thru the trails….. listening to the frogs……. watching the birds and enjoying the wildlife …….when all of a sudden……you hear a rustle in the tall grass beside the trail…….and out slithers a long black snake onto your path……….

……………your husband (the man who’s SUPPOSED to be protecting you in situations like these)….. throws himself BEHIND YOU……puts his hands on your shoulders and pushes you in front of him to block himself from the SNAKE……..

What can I say? HairyMan…….My Hero!

Have You Ever, Wednesday..........

HAVE YOU EVER been helping your husband remodel your basement .................and the both of you are drinking the SAME kind of beer............................ and he sets his beer down by you....................and you pick it up - by mistake.................thinking that it must be yours (and you're REALLY thirsty and you need a drink)........................you take a HUGE gulp.....................and what you thought was cold beer doesn't taste like beer at all....................it turns out to have a 'cherry taste' to it.........and it's chunky and slimy...............BECAUSE..................... unbeknown st to you -your husband has been carrying around 2 cans ....................ONE - full of cold fresh BEER......................and the OTHER one that he's been using as a 'spit-cup' .................because he 'CHEWS' (aka: smokeless tobacco.................you know................) ...............................and you've just now taken a hefty drink of his 'Skoal Spit'.................................gag........cough..............puke..................

Well, have you? Have you ever drank your husbands SPIT?

Photo courtesy of the Internet/ Cherry Skoal

Have You Ever Wednesday

Have you ever been SO DRUNK that you played “Bocce Balls’ .........................out in the middle of your front yard

………….out in plain site.......................for the entire world to see..............totally NAKED………in the middle of the day?



Photo courtesy of the internet

Have You Ever Wednesday

Now that I'm getting into this blogging thing...........I'm creating a new post for Wednesdays.............it will be called "Have You Ever Wednesday"......... So ...........here is the first installment: .............(and yes I know that it's Thursday today, BUT I forgot to do this yesterday.........so this weeks rendition is TODAY instead of YESTERDAY..........I'll get it right starting next week! On Wednesday!

Have you ever baked your husband a cake while he was at work……........……then ate half of it…….......…….and you didn’t want him to know that you ate HALF a cake………........……so you ate the OTHER half of the cake…….......…….and then you washed the pan………….......….because you didn’t want your husband to know you ate an ENTIRE cake…………..and you never told him you made a cake!

(..........is it any wonder I'm FAT!?..............hhhellllllooooooo..........)

Photo courtesy of the internet.