Dear Daughter:
Rules that Daughter, 'Friend 1', 'Friend 2' and 'Friend 3' MUST follow while on Vacation in Florida: (PER MOM!)
READ THE RULES! SAY THEM OVER AND OVER IN YOUR HEADS! NEVER FORGET THE RULES!
MEMORIZE THE RULES! (STRAYING from these rules ARE NOT PERMITTED! ……….under NO circumstances!)
(If you ‘stray’ from the rules – you will be severely punished and grounded when you get home!.......All Of You!)
Yes……………………there will be a test! (You think I’m kidding, don’t you………….) HA!
Rule #1) Don’t talk to strangers.
Rule #2) If you must talk to strangers, (only in an emergency), NEVER trust them…………if they are Men – remember - all they want to do is “Get you Naked” and have their way with you, SO BEWARE!
Rule #3)
You all must watch “TAKEN” (the action/adventure movie starring Liam Neeson and Maggie Grace) before leaving on your Florida adventure! And you must watch it at least twice! (Former government operative Bryan Mills begins the longest 96-hours of his life--and the hunt for the fearsome organization that has taken his daughter Kim. Mills had only recently given up his government career as what he calls a "preventer" to be near Kim, who lives with Bryan's ex-wife Lenore and her new husband. To make ends meet, Bryan joins some former colleagues for special security details (like guarding a pop diva), but most of his time and energy are spent re-connecting with Kim. Bryan's familial goal is nearly derailed when Kim requests his permission to spend time in Paris with a friend. All too aware of the dangers that could lie ahead for Kim in a foreign land, Bryan says no, but Kim's disappointment leads him to very reluctantly relent. Bryan's worst fears are realized when Kim and her friend Amanda are suddenly abducted--in broad daylight--from the Paris apartment at which they've just arrived. Moments before Kim is dragged away by the as yet unseen and unknown assailants, she manages to phone Bryan, who begins to expertly piece together clues that will take him to the darkness of Paris's underworld, and to the City of Light's plushest mansions. He will face nightmares worse than anything he experienced in black ops--and let nothing and no one stop him from saving his daughter.)
You all must LEARN from this movie – oh young ones…………
Rule #4) If you choose to forget the RULES and you decide to trust some HOT guy that says he is your friend – Remember – HE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!...................He is a Maniacal KILLER! ………………..he means only to Beat you – Rape you and Torture you! It will not be fun and you will have wished you would have followed the rules! He will cut your body in tiny pieces and feed the sharks with you! ...........Remember this! (You may never be found!)
Rule #5) I am only a phone call away……. Moms Home Phone #: 616-XXX-XXXX
Moms Cell #: 616-XXX-XXXX..............................Call me anytime for any reason! You are to call me simply to let me know that you haven’t been abducted by a maniacal killer who has murdered you with his machete or chainsaw! (If 12 Hours pass and I DO NOT hear from you – KNOW that I will PANIC! (My daughter will vouch for this! …….trust me!) Rest assured that I will then call your immediate families…………. and then call the local authorities as to your whereabouts! (Trust me – I will!) They will start a state wide search as to where you are……..
Rule #6) Do not trust ANYONE! Remember Natalie Holloway? SHE TRUSTED! And the
outcome was TERRIBLE and TRAGIC! (A MOTHERS WORSE NIGHTMARE!) (Natalee Ann Holloway (born October 21, 1986) disappeared on May 30, 2005, during a high school graduation trip to Aruba. Holloway was scheduled to fly home later on May 30, but failed to appear for her flight. She was last seen by her classmates outside a nightclub, in a car with locals. Investigators conducted extensive searches, but these searches were unsuccessful……..Natalee has never been found.) ……….. BEWARE! (Again – refer to Rule #2 and Rule #4!)
Rule #7) Always be on the ‘Buddy System!’ ………….never isolate yourself from your “Vacation Friend Pack!” …………..remember “Safety in Numbers!” …………..if one of your fellow vacation friends decide to go out on their own ………………….Red Alert!!!!!!! Absolutely under ANY circumstances – DO NOT let this happen! Never leave a ‘Fellow Vacation Buddy’ home alone – or at a party – or at the bar……………….Jogging alone on the beach – NO! ................One of you walking to the gas station alone – NO!.........................Remember – Red Alert! Never let your ‘Vacation Buddy’ wander by herself! ……………..No good can come of this! (And I would expect your “Fellow Vacation Friends’ to do the same for you!) You are a TEAM – and your sole purpose (other than getting a kick-ass Tan) is to keep each other SAFE!
Rule #8) If you find yourself at a party or at a bar or at a gathering with people other than yourselves (which -by the way - is not advised) ………..NEVER…………I repeat NEVER…………..put down your drink! Always keep an eye on your drink, your glass, your can of soda (surely you won’t be drinking.) Remember - MEN will slip something into your drink (while you are not looking) and it could lead to BAD THINGS! Have you ever heard of the ‘Date Rape’ drug? Again – refer to Rule #2, Rule #4 and Rule #6!
All kidding aside, ladies – Please Be Safe! Don’t do anything STUPID! Your parents, family and friends love you back home and will worry about you in your travels! Have fun!
I love you,
MOM!
P.S. This e-mail will be featured on my Blog tonight!
MEMORIZE THE RULES! (STRAYING from these rules ARE NOT PERMITTED! ……….under NO circumstances!)
(If you ‘stray’ from the rules – you will be severely punished and grounded when you get home!.......All Of You!)
Yes……………………there will be a test! (You think I’m kidding, don’t you………….) HA!
Rule #1) Don’t talk to strangers.
Rule #2) If you must talk to strangers, (only in an emergency), NEVER trust them…………if they are Men – remember - all they want to do is “Get you Naked” and have their way with you, SO BEWARE!
Rule #3)
You all must watch “TAKEN” (the action/adventure movie starring Liam Neeson and Maggie Grace) before leaving on your Florida adventure! And you must watch it at least twice! (Former government operative Bryan Mills begins the longest 96-hours of his life--and the hunt for the fearsome organization that has taken his daughter Kim. Mills had only recently given up his government career as what he calls a "preventer" to be near Kim, who lives with Bryan's ex-wife Lenore and her new husband. To make ends meet, Bryan joins some former colleagues for special security details (like guarding a pop diva), but most of his time and energy are spent re-connecting with Kim. Bryan's familial goal is nearly derailed when Kim requests his permission to spend time in Paris with a friend. All too aware of the dangers that could lie ahead for Kim in a foreign land, Bryan says no, but Kim's disappointment leads him to very reluctantly relent. Bryan's worst fears are realized when Kim and her friend Amanda are suddenly abducted--in broad daylight--from the Paris apartment at which they've just arrived. Moments before Kim is dragged away by the as yet unseen and unknown assailants, she manages to phone Bryan, who begins to expertly piece together clues that will take him to the darkness of Paris's underworld, and to the City of Light's plushest mansions. He will face nightmares worse than anything he experienced in black ops--and let nothing and no one stop him from saving his daughter.)You all must LEARN from this movie – oh young ones…………
Rule #4) If you choose to forget the RULES and you decide to trust some HOT guy that says he is your friend – Remember – HE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!...................He is a Maniacal KILLER! ………………..he means only to Beat you – Rape you and Torture you! It will not be fun and you will have wished you would have followed the rules! He will cut your body in tiny pieces and feed the sharks with you! ...........Remember this! (You may never be found!)
Rule #5) I am only a phone call away……. Moms Home Phone #: 616-XXX-XXXX
Moms Cell #: 616-XXX-XXXX..............................Call me anytime for any reason! You are to call me simply to let me know that you haven’t been abducted by a maniacal killer who has murdered you with his machete or chainsaw! (If 12 Hours pass and I DO NOT hear from you – KNOW that I will PANIC! (My daughter will vouch for this! …….trust me!) Rest assured that I will then call your immediate families…………. and then call the local authorities as to your whereabouts! (Trust me – I will!) They will start a state wide search as to where you are……..
Rule #6) Do not trust ANYONE! Remember Natalie Holloway? SHE TRUSTED! And the
outcome was TERRIBLE and TRAGIC! (A MOTHERS WORSE NIGHTMARE!) (Natalee Ann Holloway (born October 21, 1986) disappeared on May 30, 2005, during a high school graduation trip to Aruba. Holloway was scheduled to fly home later on May 30, but failed to appear for her flight. She was last seen by her classmates outside a nightclub, in a car with locals. Investigators conducted extensive searches, but these searches were unsuccessful……..Natalee has never been found.) ……….. BEWARE! (Again – refer to Rule #2 and Rule #4!)Rule #7) Always be on the ‘Buddy System!’ ………….never isolate yourself from your “Vacation Friend Pack!” …………..remember “Safety in Numbers!” …………..if one of your fellow vacation friends decide to go out on their own ………………….Red Alert!!!!!!! Absolutely under ANY circumstances – DO NOT let this happen! Never leave a ‘Fellow Vacation Buddy’ home alone – or at a party – or at the bar……………….Jogging alone on the beach – NO! ................One of you walking to the gas station alone – NO!.........................Remember – Red Alert! Never let your ‘Vacation Buddy’ wander by herself! ……………..No good can come of this! (And I would expect your “Fellow Vacation Friends’ to do the same for you!) You are a TEAM – and your sole purpose (other than getting a kick-ass Tan) is to keep each other SAFE!
Rule #8) If you find yourself at a party or at a bar or at a gathering with people other than yourselves (which -by the way - is not advised) ………..NEVER…………I repeat NEVER…………..put down your drink! Always keep an eye on your drink, your glass, your can of soda (surely you won’t be drinking.) Remember - MEN will slip something into your drink (while you are not looking) and it could lead to BAD THINGS! Have you ever heard of the ‘Date Rape’ drug? Again – refer to Rule #2, Rule #4 and Rule #6!
All kidding aside, ladies – Please Be Safe! Don’t do anything STUPID! Your parents, family and friends love you back home and will worry about you in your travels! Have fun!
I love you,
MOM!
P.S. This e-mail will be featured on my Blog tonight!
Photos courtesy of the internet
That was awesome. So.Hard.To.Let.Them.Go. I'm only a few years away and getting more nervous by the day!
ReplyDelete***Ally
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