Things I did last night..............(.........as if you really care, right?.............):
I ate a leftover ‘5 Layer Burrito’ from Taco Bell……(I wolfed it down in like 3 seconds…………..don’t really think I even chewed it………….and I think it was the best burrito I’ve ever eaten in my entire life!)………… I shaved all the ‘man-hair’ off of HairyMans back...(the highlight of my evening, let me tell you)..………….….I cleaned up dog-pee from all over my house .....(since my little dog, Max, feels the need to relieve himself all over INSIDE my house, instead of going outside to his little ‘special area’ thru his little doggie door, which we have conveniently provided him with, and like we have trained him to do) …………..(evidently, it looks like we didn’t really train him, did we? )……(Damn little Dog!)……….I threw away moldy cottage cheese that has evidently been lost in the back of my refrigerator for quite some time……
….I shaved my legs with a brand new razor…..(.now I have little ‘bleedy scrapes and nicks’ all over my legs………………really attractive……………NOT!)………(I think my legs looked better ‘hairy’ than with all these cuts all over them)………No shorts for me today!................I took a 25 minute walk around our neighborhood and peed myself……….(I would’ve walked a little longer – but thought I ought to get home to change my pants (since I peed them and all......)......AND...... I also started 'freakin' myself out' when I got to hearing movement in the woods ......and my imagination started getting away from myself with thoughts that I was being followed by a female mountain lion in heat………after all, I had nothing to defend myself with but a small stick that I had picked up on my walk)………………Note to self: Next time I need to be better prepared when walking alone in the neighborhood! …………also…………..Another Note to self: I need to get a grip on my imagination! (Lately, I've got this thing about being stalked by dangerous animals!)
I ate a leftover ‘5 Layer Burrito’ from Taco Bell……(I wolfed it down in like 3 seconds…………..don’t really think I even chewed it………….and I think it was the best burrito I’ve ever eaten in my entire life!)………… I shaved all the ‘man-hair’ off of HairyMans back...(the highlight of my evening, let me tell you)..………….….I cleaned up dog-pee from all over my house .....(since my little dog, Max, feels the need to relieve himself all over INSIDE my house, instead of going outside to his little ‘special area’ thru his little doggie door, which we have conveniently provided him with, and like we have trained him to do) …………..(evidently, it looks like we didn’t really train him, did we? )……(Damn little Dog!)……….I threw away moldy cottage cheese that has evidently been lost in the back of my refrigerator for quite some time……
Photo courtesy of the Internet
This reminded me - I definitely have some cottage cheese (and lots of other rotting things) to throw away. Time to clean out my fridge!
ReplyDeleteStopping by from SITS!
I just adore you!!!! I want to know how to get cottage cheese off my rear end...can you just throw THAT away?!
ReplyDeleteAh,Jenny, I see we have alot in common. I too have a dog that pee's in the house, would love to be hot and thin again, and hate garden gnomes. I also love to read but do not share your phobia of bear mauling. ;) I do, however, own 2 bars and if you ever come down south I would gladly clear one of them off for you to dance on!
ReplyDeleteAwwww....Thank you, City Girl - I think you're pretty cool, too! (It's not the cottage cheese on my rear that has me worried - it's all the Cheeseburgers that have attached themselves to my butt that has me looking like a 'HOG' lately!)
ReplyDeleteHeart2heart....It seems we do have a lot in common! And you're now my new best friend since you own 2 bars and you'll let me dance around in my "Coyote Ugly Butt-less Chaps!"