It Could Happen Monday...........

I visited my parents this last weekend for Mothers Day, and with Spring in the Air, I happened to notice that they’ve got those Gosh Darn ‘Garden Gnomes’ strategically placed thru-out their flower beds again, despite my constant warnings. (Yeah – like I’m NOT going to notice them! ………..D*MN it, Margie!)    So with that in mind……I got to thinkin’:

I COULD go visit my mom and dad one weekend this summer. AND….I could TRY to IGNORE those evil ‘Dwarf-wanna-be’s’ positioned in my mothers gardens……I’d be – like- visiting with my parents and we would walk by the little demons, as my mother showed me her prize flowers…..and I could swear that their little ‘beady eyes’ would be following me ………

And all of a sudden something would catch my eye and I could swear that one ‘garden gnome with the red hat and the garden shovel’ was facing the East and not the West……….(ok….trying to put the image out of my mind and chalk it up to hallucinations, Jenny…..)

Later - night would come of course; we’d all go to bed… (Yeah, well…….everyone but me…)…..seriously, mom – how the heck am I supposed to fall asleep knowing the garden gnomes are secretly dancing around the yard plotting to do my harm!

I’d finally fall asleep and I would be awakened by the sound of my bedroom door opening………I’d open my eyes to the marching sound of little footsteps making their way from the doorway to my bed!     Sure enough - I would see the shadows in the darkness ....of little demon dwarfs with red hats... (there must’ve been at least 30 of them) ...climbing up the sides of my bed with pitch forks, garden machetes and little axes……I will not be able to move - due to fright - and so they will start attaching me with their miniature weapons of destruction. (I’ll be powerless against the little FREAKS…………you know the saying “Strength in Numbers” don't cha.........)

In the morning, my parents will enter my room to wake me up for breakfast and I will be gone……….having disappeared…….never to be found again.

And only the ‘Devil Gnomes’ in my mothers flower beds will know what became of me that night….

Well…………It could happen, people!