This morning I grabbed a banana to eat on the way to work and half way to work - it went MISSING! (YES, when I reached into the passenger seat to grab it - IT WAS GONE!)
So .....I spent the next 10-15 minutes looking all over my 'freakin' car for the blasted banana and it's a miracle I made it to work in one piece, what with me swerving all over the road and all............(evidentally my 'Super Human Hunting Skills' weren't working this morning at 7AM, Damnit!)
So I'm sitting here at work ............. hungry for my stinkin' banana.....(............yeah........ while I'm supposed to be working, I know)............. (hey DON'T judge me!) ..........trying to figure out what could have happened to the infamous 'Breakfast Banana':
1) Maybe I left it on the counter in the house and forgot to even bring it in the car with me in the first place.2) OR....Maybe I dropped it in the garage on my way to the car.
3) OR....It may have fallen under my seat in my car while I was driving and wasn't looking ...(so if sooner or later my car suddenly get this strange infestation of fruit flies ..........well, I'm just saying) Altho, what smells better in my car? Rotten Banana or Dirty Ass..............you tell me!OR 4) Maybe I'm an idiot and I DID EAT IT on the way to work after all, and I just don't remember eating it……..but then ............I really don’t ever remember rolling down my window and throwing the banana peel out the window into the ditch, which is what I normally do with my banana peels and apple cores (hey, they're biodegradable and the animals eat them, don't they?) (banana peels and apple cores out the window isn't littering is it? 'Cause I am so NOT INTO littering, my friends............and if it IS considered littering, I would have to re-think my 'peels and cores' out the window routine!)
.....................Well........a few hours have passed, and I still can't figure out where my DAMN BANANA is.............
............SO........... let me know if ANYONE FINDS IT, will you?!
I think it's the gnomes. You know, they're the ones who hide the car keys and mess up the kitchen counter 5 minutes after you clean it. I think they may be branching out and trying to find new ways to entertain themselves.
ReplyDeleteOR, you may have just lost it, but I like the gnome explanation better :)
I hate when that happens!!!!!
ReplyDeleteTahtimbo: Yeah, I thought about the GNOMES (that was the first thing that popped into my head) but then I had to put the thought out of my mind because I started thinking that maybe those gnomes were STILL IN the car with ME, maybe hiding under the seat - and not ONLY hiding my breakfast banana, but the little thieves had little 'machetes' and were going to cut my 'Achilles Tendons' from under the seat and that would 'bring on the Blood' and Pain...and you know how I can't take blood, and I'd probably pass out from loss of blood and pain and get in a car wreck.........SO... I seriously started freaking myself out, getting goosebumps and all... and I refused to look in the rearview mirror the rest of the way to work.....you know I'm just sayin'.....
ReplyDeleteOH! Here it's... NOT...
ReplyDeleteI think it is the gnomes that stole the banana and then stink up your car and office.
ReplyDelete