Something Stinks....and I hope to God it Ain't Me!

Yesterday morning,  while at work, sitting in my little cubicle and working hard (what with me being the most efficient-multi-tasking employee that I am) ......... when all of a sudden I noticed a 'RANK' kind of smell in my office (specifically around my desk, by the way)..........sorta smelled like 'POOP' actually!     I'm thinking maybe a dog or a cat 'left a load' under or around my desk...........(what a dog or cat would be doin' poopin' under my desk is beyond me...but I'm just sayin' )  So here I am looking all over the floor for poop logs or diarrhea piles or something.......  and guess what?  yeah.....I can't find a thing! 


Well, then I got to thinking.........MAYBE IT'S ME!  Maybe I'M the one that smells like POOP!     Maybe I stepped in dog poop on the way into the office this morning..........or maybe I didn't wipe my butt good enough this morning (which COULDN'T be the case - what with me using about a half a roll of toilet paper each time I wipe...)........or ...well, you know how I have this little incontinence problem?   Well, maybe I have an 'anal leakage' problem too, that I didn't know about..........maybe that's what I smell.......maybe it's me!  

So I spent the next 10 minutes trying to maneuver my head down to my butt area, to try to get a whiff of myself....... (which is a hard thing to do.....I mean........have YOU ever tried to smell your own butt...........well, it's not easy........go ahead and YOU give it a try......)   I'm not very LIMBER........and I think I pulled a muscle in my back trying to smell my own butt...................
........but then I get to thinking (again)........ Wouldn't I KNOW it if I accidentally pooped myself?    Wouldn't I know IF I HAVE an 'anal leakage' problem........I mean.......that's one problem that wouldn't go un-noticed...right?

Well.......I DON'T have an anal leakage problem (just so you know)...........AND....... I still CAN'T find the source of the 'Stank' in the office...........SO....... it still smells like 'DIRTY ASS' around my desk........and everybody who walks by, thinks I've farted!........or crapped my pants!       I'm just saying!
Photo courtesy of the internet