Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Deer Heads are Falling Off the Deer....OR is that a Dead Possum?

Yesterday morning (around 6:00am) I let our little dog, Max, outside in his pen ...through his doggie door..........to do 'his business' and as I peeked out the slider door (out into the darkness) ......(to try to catch a peek at him doing 'His Thing'............yeah, I'm that kind of dog owner).......I noticed that he had congregated to the side of his pen and was sniffing something.  After a minute or two, I decided to step out into the darkness and into his fenced in pen to take a look to see what had gathered his attention.    WELL, at first, I though there was a 'severed deer head' laying in the corner of his pen that had gained his attention, (.....and I'm thinking to myself ........GREAT.........now we have deer around our property whose heads are falling off.............) ........but as I looked closer, I realize there was some dead animal laying in the corner of his pen - it wasn't a severed deer head after all   (....guess I won't have to worry about those headless deer, now.............)   So here I was (...and pay attention, cause this will be an important factor later on in my story..) ....here I was.... I'm squatting down ....my face about 1 foot or so from this dead carcass laying on the cement......trying to get a better look......I kick it a little with my slipper....you know.........to make sure it's dead.............and I take an even closer look (...it's 6AM and dark out, remember.............) ........and upon closer inspection, I realize that it's a possum that's dead in Max's pen.  Well, I move a little closer TO SEE WHY the heck IT'S DEAD in my dogs pen.......like I wanna make sure one of it's feet isn't caught in the fence.....and I'm picturing it - with it's leg caught and how it's trying to gnaw away at his leg to get free.......and maybe it's leg is bloody and hanging there from the bone and maybe possums teeth aren't sharp enough to gnaw through bone............so now I'm probably going to have to go get a saw or a jack knife and help it free itself..............but wait........the darn things dead, right...........and WAIT............that's mice that eat their legs off to get out of situations, not possums.......I don't think possums do that , do they? ....anyway.........it's laying on it's back.........all four feet straight up in the air.......(..and I'm wondering what the FREAK is up with that.........)......so I stand up, move back, grab Max, go inside, grab a shovel and a flash light and head back out to get this dead carcass out of Max's pen...............and guess what?

It's FREAKIN' GONE!

How can it be gone?  I left it there for maybe...1 minute or so......if that! AND IT WAS DEAD..........WASN'T IT?  Well apparently it wasn't dead ..............helllooooo............and remember how I told you had my face about 8 inches from it all the while I was trying to get a better look at it!   Now I'm sick to my stomach.......I could have been attacked by this rabid possum.........and it was probably a mutant hybrid possum (not just the normal ones, you'd find in the woods)......... IT could have jumped up with it's razor sharp teeth and mauled me .........and given me rabies..........and infected me with it's mutant blood ............ and it could've messed up my face.........and I would have scars (....surely there would be scars..........)     AND BLOOD  (and we all know how well I deal with blood)  ..........and I wouldn't be able to be 'HairyMans' Trophy Wife anymore ...................I'm just sayin'.............................

.............and where the heck did it go, anyway?  (Let's hope - NOT IN the doggie door!) 

11 comments:

  1. oh my goodness!! so they really DO play Possum... who'd've thunk it? I'm glad the possum to jump up and maul you... i hate doggie doors... i have had a skunk and a few squirrels visit the interior of my palace via doggie doors....

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  2. Oh that's scary to think about! Those things freak me out!

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  3. Haven't you seen Over the Hedge? LOL. They play dead. He saw the dog was gone and ran for his life! SO funny! Glad it didn't attack you!

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  4. LOL aww the poor possum. Glad it wasn't dead and can now reunite with it's family.

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  5. Interesting story, but dont worry, you are safe now. Maybe it just passed out when it saw you approaching. He might have been very nervous trespassing and all....

    Have a stunning day.
    Colin.

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  6. Do not put your face close to any furry object in the dark ;-)

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  7. Hey ya! I'm in your tribe. Woot woot.

    Carrie
    the5thgirl.com

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  8. Thanks for the photo. I've never seen a possum - never mind a mutant, hybrid one...very funny!!!

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  9. You are crazy! Possums are THE scariest looking animal ever. Seriously. The needle teeth...and the creepy long nose...and the rat tail! I have held a boa constrictor and I am afraid of possums. That's how evil I think they are.

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  10. The possums down here in Australia are much cuter than your mutant ones..Note to self :anything laying still and is furry assume the worst and RUN!!!..xx

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  11. You guys are too funny! And obviously a lot smarter than I am.......(when it comes to furry rabid possums, that is) .......altho it shouldn't surprise you that I would do something stupid ....right?! Don't worry.....I'm not getting near the next dead creature in my dogs fenced in pen........never again, people....... :):)

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