I’m in serious need of a 'body image change', too, (just so you know)….I’m standing in front of the mirror totally naked - checking myself out again…………(……..I gotta quit doing that, already……it’s depressing………and it makes me want to throw up!)
……..and I don’t know exactly what happened to my body these last few years - to make it look like the way it does right now – ‘CAUSE it’s not pretty……..not pretty one single bit! (….okay……..who am I fooling……….. of course I know why my body looks like this right now……....hellllllloooo…….it’s because I’m lazy….and I’m fat ……….and I like to eat!) And as I look at this body of mine, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just not that sexy anymore! And it’s starting to PISS ME OFF! (………’cause I’m this little ‘sex craved’ smokin’ hot 29 year old stuck in this frumpy ‘mom’ body……..remember?)
………I mean, it’s not like I’m the type of girl that thinks a woman has to be thin to be sexy .......(…no, I’m not that kind of girl….don’t worry…….) But - HOLY GEEZ……I do remember that ‘IT WAS A LOT MORE FUN TO BE SEXY’ when I was thinner – and smokin’ hot………
…..so then I get this great idea that I’m gonna try on all my ‘sexy stuff’ that I have hidden in my closet………so here I am now - parading around in front of the full length mirror trying on all my sexy little lacy teddy’s and negligees and thigh highs......... high heels and garters and I’m posing all seductive and pretending I’m some ‘playboy bunny on steroids’ ……… and actually, it’s not that I look too bad…….I mean if I stand a certain way and hold in my stomach just right, and push my rear-end out and if I don’t breathe……..and push my chest out….…and don’t move, for ‘Freaks Sake’ (for fear that my muffin-top is gonna fall out of my elastic panties and one of my boobs is gonna fall out of my skimpy little bra)………….well, I may be able to get away with it………but once I move………(…well….a girls gotta breathe, right?) …........well, then it’s all over, people!
….what’s a girl to do?
Just remember "sexy" is a state of mind. You can do it! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd, you are beautiful!
ReplyDelete.....awww, Bipolar...Thanks for making my SMILE....You're the Best!
ReplyDeletejudging from your photo girl you are thin and hot.... just found your blog.... enjoyed thank you - I totally get where you're coming from....!!!
ReplyDeleteWell, from your tiny little profile pic, you look beautiful to me! Don't be so hard on yourself. Be thankful that you made it this far and that you are healthy enough to stand in front of the mirror. No one looks like the Playboy Bunnies for long and some of us (me) never got that opportunity because we either had boobs too small (me), too pale (me), no curvy waist (me), not much butt (me), but heck...it isn't all about the body! So love your body! I actually have a workout tape from the 80's that says "Love your body" through the whole thing! Do you want to borrow it?
ReplyDeleteCheese Whine and Whispers...thanks for stopping by and following me! You think I'm thin and hot...why thank you...you're my new best friend! (I think we're gonna get along just fine...with that kind of attitude!) :):)
ReplyDeleteRedhead: Thank you for thinking I'm beautiful! You're the best! I love making fun of myself and it's not that I think I'm 'God Awful Fat & Ugly' or anything like that....I just long to be my hot little sexy 29 year old self again...maybe I'm going thru my mid-life crisis right now.....yeah that's it! (EW...I think I just found the makings of a new post....) Trust me....you won't find anyone more secure about her body than me! (It just would be so cool if my body was a little smaller right now!) :):) (Plus I'd rather be 'Fat and Fun" than a skinny little bitch, right? ....just so you know!)
ReplyDeleteNow, you know you are gorgeous! I must admit, I've been in the same frame of mind lately...walkin my tail off! Gawd, my muscles, or what's left of em, are screaming! And did I mention how sick of chicken and fish I am? Ugghhh! I think maybe we should just double the spanx!
ReplyDeleteOH how this made me laugh. I too try and trick myself by standing in the bath, bathed in a certain light (that's only available at 6:15AM), turned a certain way, with the tummy sucked in. I wake hubby up to say "does this look sexy?" Thanks for the laugh!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious! I don't know anything that is sexier than a woman with a great sense of humor. You are sexy and funny, the whole package.
ReplyDeleteI have this great mirror- tilts a bit- gives ya a boost of confidence every day- ;-) always remember we use the dim lights to our advantage- we get smarter, not older;
ReplyDeleteAngie......well of course I know I'm gorgeous...but, helllooooo....I wanna be more gorgeous! :):)
ReplyDeleteDLK...glad I made you laugh and I'm glad you too can relate to sucking it all in and striking that 'sexy pose'!
Unknown Mami...You are SO good for my ego.....whenever I get down on myself, you always make me smile and feel better! Thanks girlfriend!
Ridgely: Hey....I want that mirror....will you share!? Yes, I'm always telling everyone that I look alot better with my clothes on or with the lights out! :):)