Thursday night: Put up the Christmas tree.....(all by myself)......wrapped all of the presents and put them under the tree.
Friday night: Decorated the Christmas Tree.....(all by myself).............climbed on a chair to put the Star on the top of the tree, the ceiling fan hit me in the head, knocked me off the chair and I fell to the floor....almost taking the tree with me.....(I think I was unconscious for a few minutes).........and I'm pretty sure I dislocated my elbow.....and if I'm remembering it correctly, I had no feeling in the left side of my body for a good 3 minutes after I fell.......altho my memories a little fuzzy right now.............but I do remember seeing stars and little birds dancing around in my head and hearing ringing in my ears..............yeah........pretty sure I have a concussion.......I'm just sayin'......
Saturday: Spent all morning looking for my bottle of wine....then I remembered I drank the entire bottle Friday night............(...yup....there's the empty bottle in the garbage and my dirty wine glass in the sink............silly me........)......... Spent the day 're-wrapping' all of the presents under the tree because my dog decided to piss all over them..........(if your present smells like DOG PISS.......DEAL WITH IT!)...............OH, and I'm pretty sure that I ate an entire roll of 'chocolate chip cookie dough' and an entire bag of peanut M&M's all by myself.........I couldn't remember if I took some Tylenol, so I took 3 more...... I drank another bottle of wine........accidentally locked my dog in the closet.........
Sunday: Painted my fingernails and then heard a loud crash from the other room.........(scared the 'freakin SH*T' out of me........just so you know......)...........dog started barking..........I grabbed a butcher knife and a baseball bat and headed to the other room..........where I found the Christmas tree laying across my dining room floor.....pine needles .....water ........broken ornaments EVERYWHERE.......spent the next 2 hours cleaning up pine needles and water and broken ornaments..............couldn't find the stinking string.......... or a hammer.......so I used binder twine and a brick to pound the nails in my wall that I needed to secure the tree back up .....around the branches and to the wall....(looks really 'freakin' lovely...just so you know......).........hung some ornaments from the binder twine to make it look prettier.......(.....don't think it worked..................at this point.....who cares.......).......decided to forget the wine - I need Vodka........I'm out of Tonic - so I'm drinking it straight out of the bottle (..........hey.......don't judge me!)......repainted my fingernails since they were not dry at the time of the 'Christmas tree disaster' .................my fingernails look like SH*T..........
..............now I'm watching 'Fargo' on TV and plucking my eyebrows.....
How was your 'Freakin' weekend?
wow, I need a drink after that. Hope your week goes better.
ReplyDeleteOMG!!! Jenny I can't believe all that can happen to one person in one weekend.... Holly Molly kiddo I would be going out of my freakin mind.... but if it makes you feel any better you make us all laugh and at this time of year we could all do with a good laugh. Thank you.... and thanks for dropping by my blog the other day.... I hope the sales in Florida went well.... Merry Christmas....
ReplyDeleteWatching Fargo or plucking your eyebrows...not sure which is more riveting.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for being so ingenious about ways to hammer the tree to the wall. Did you ruin your nail polish in the process though?
Missing a bottle of wine? Not cool!
ReplyDeleteCame across your blog on BF...you've g...ot a follower in me for sure :-) Too funny
LMAO. Sounds like my kind of Christmas! Glad you survived it! New follower from BF.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know if I should laugh or cry... I laughed... I'm exhausted for you!
ReplyDelete-Buffi
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