Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Pretending I'm a Vampire....oh, and Poop!

I'm gonna make this short..............just wanted you to know what I've been thinking about today:

Last night while I was busy walking around my house - pretending that I was a Vampire..........I heard a knock on the door. Somehow I had CONVINCED MYSELF that the man at the door was a ‘Vampire Slayer’ (….yeah, I get paranoid like that when I get in character…….) I never DID answer the door….(….just so you know….)…….I just stood there - inside the door, carefully hidden - with my 'nunchucks' in hand - peaking outside from behind the window curtain - so that I could keep track of his where-a-bouts ...(....I was afraid he may sneak aournd back and come in for a surpise attack ...)..... I can’t be sure, but I think he ended up being a Jehovah Witness because there was an ‘I Love Jesus!’ pamphlet in the door this morning.

I ate an entire ‘block’ of Colby-Jack Cheese for my lunch today.

Am I the only one – that every time I take a poop – I feel like I need to take a shower? ……(………..hellloooooo……..is doesn’t matter how many toilet paper squares or wet wipes I use……..I just don’t feel like I’ve cleaned myself good enough………) .......(..I'm just sayin'.....)....


  1. Cocky lil monkey ass. lmao

    Oh, what a hilarious post! Omg <3cheese<3
    A world without cheese would be a world without sunshine.

  2. Loved the vampire slayer imagery. The pic of you in the bustier helped that too...

    Sorry about the cheese incident. I'm with you on Charlie Sheen. There's an app posted on msnbc.com that apparently erases all traces of him and his quotes from your internet experience. Go check it out?

  3. LilPixi: I absolutely LOVE Cheese.....I could eat shredded cheese out of the bag with a spoon....

    Lost.in.Idaho....sometimes I get a little carried away with my vampire theatrics....my outfit was more like tight leather pants, a black tube top, goth makeup and a BB gun - rather than the sexy little bustier and nunchucks..... and erasing all traces of Charlie Sheen would be a plus! :):)

  4. omg. you crack me up. Yes I'm tired of Charlie Sheen. He's reminding me of Tom Cruise and his weirdo ways. I feel sorry for the other people on that show. I really liked it.

  5. I'm surprised you didn't call him something worse than "worm"...although monkey ass is a good one.lol

    Girl don't even get me started on the bathroom scene...I hate even going into bathrooms, even here at home....mine are spotless cause anything less makes me wanna vomit...but I still can't get over the thought of what goes on in bathrooms...so yes, I want to shower...right after I vomit.

  6. Dazee: Wow, I had forgot about Tom Cruise and how he's turned psycho, too.....(I guess Tom should thank Charlie for getting everyones mind off of his own crazyness!)

    Marty......and you can quote me, my friend........ "One CANNOT go wrong with a good 'poop' story or a good 'vomit' story!"

  7. Charlie Sheen is just mentally sick and has decided not to take his meds anymore. Thus he is hormonally imbalanced.

    You don't answer the door,while pretending be a vampire. I don't answer the phone, I just hold it in my hand looking at the caller ID pretending I am a rock star.

    Potty talk...it is better that I just don't go there for now.

  8. Yup, I want to shower after a poop too and after listening to Charlie Sheen babble.

  9. Love it!
    Great post - as always.

    I like your Vampire outfit - too cute in a "scary spice" kind of way.

    Jenny (the real "Jenny with no fur")

  10. Ok, wait! Are you saying that there is a link between eating an entire block of colby cheese and regular bowel function? 'Cause if so, I so need to get to the grocery store tomorrow!
    And yeah, I'm so with you on the Charlie Sheen fiasco. I'm just sad I won't be able to enjoy the show anymore because he's such an idot monkey-butt. Where am I supposed to get my dose of Ducky now?...am making a reference to Pretty in Pink in case you weren't as obsessed with that film as I was.

  11. The only thing Sheen is winning is a case of herpes.

  12. Jenny, yeah, I'm about sick of Charlie Sheens shenanigans....Rock Star? Vampire? Maybe next time I'll pretend I'm a 'Vampire Rockstar!'

    Mami: Yup, nothing feels better than a shower to wipe the nasty's off! :):) I'm glad you can relate!

    Shelly - Thanks for stopping by! :):)

    Jenny: If only I LOOKED like THAT in my sexy little Vampire outfit.....(Note: The cartoon of me is a whole lot better looking than the 'real me' vampire outfit that I had on!) Hey, and Jenny w/ no fur makes me sound like a Hairy person....maybe next time I'll pretend I'm a Werewolf! :)

  13. Sandra: Actually, I wasn't thinking of Cheese and Poop being related when I wrote this....but I see what you're saying!
    OMGosh....I've seen 'Pretty in Pink' at least a million times......LOVE that movie...and you're right? I can't watch 2 and 1/2 men w/out thinking of Ducky! OMGosh...too funny that you said that!

    Hey, Opto-Mom: I'm right there with you on your Charlie Sheen Herpes comment...I'm not quite sure what he thinks he's winning, but you're probably right on the STD's!


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