What is it with sticking FORKS in people's EYES these days?

Yeah, I know…….things just aren’t the way they used to be…(..like me posting at least one or two posts a week…)....like back in the ole’ days………. Well, cry me a river, people………I’ve been busy!  I actually had a meltdown a couple of weeks ago. …….a nervous breakdown...(.....if you’d like me to be more specific…)……there – feel better now?

………..NOT the kind of nervous breakdown that puts me in the hospital (looney bin) or the kind of meltdown that makes me want to do bodily harm to myself or other people and land me in a psycho ward or prison for attempted murder…….no – not that kind of nervous breakdown……(…altho, lately I’ve had this strong urge to stick forks in people's eyes..........especially - stupid people's eyes…...and skinny people's eyes....) …..but I read somewhere that it’s illegal to stick forks in people’s eyes – so I haven’t acted on that urge............YET!


There for a while, to be honest, I was just feeling a little overwhelmed with my life and everything that I have had going on these last couple of months.......I just needed a day or two (....or maybe a week or month...)....to throw myself a 'pity party' and be lazy and complain about how busy I am and call in sick to work and do nothing but lay around on the couch in my pajamas and eat cheeseburgers and complain about how fat I am and watch 'The New Adventure of Old Christine' reruns!   (Ever have one of those weeks - or months?) 

Well - I'm over it now!  So no worries!

 Conversation with my boss the other day at work: (……..Note: I have 2 bosses where I work…)


Boss: (…let’s call him Ed……. because that’s his name in real life…..) “Jenny, are you okay? You haven’t been yourself lately?”


ME:   I’m fine…..you would know it if something was wrong.  Like, you always know when I’m mad at you, don’t you?  In the 9 years that I’ve worked here, I’ve only been mad at you two or three times……and you can tell when something’s wrong and I’m mad at you right?………..like mad -  like I wanna stick a fork in your eyeball kindof mad, right? 


ME:   Actually Ed, you only pissing me off 2-3 times in about 9 years of working for you isn’t really bad at all.   Unlike Bill!  ........Now, Bill (....we’ll call my other boss, Bill…cause that’s HIS name in real life…..) Now, Bill – on the other hand – I pretty much want to stick forks in his eyes on a daily basis! ....(.........I'm just sayin'.......)