Wednesday, April 18, 2012

What kind of freakin' lacy belt is that?

I have this friend – let’s call her ‘Cinnamon’, okay ......(for the sake of this story)...? 
So Cinnamon and I are really good friends, right - so we decided to go shopping the other day.  Picture us deep in our shopping festivities in Macy’s - she's in one aisle a few rows away - and I look at her from where I'm standing......  she’s got this belt thing going on around her sweater……she’s wearing a brown sweater and it looks like she’s got this rope belt or white twine around her waist…..and I can’t be sure (...I certainly don't THING I'm drunk yet....).... but I don’t think she was wearing a belt this morning.  I don’t really think too much about it and I go back to my shopping.   Then about one hour later we happen to be standing right next to each other looking at 'running shorts' in the athletic department (…..what the hell I’m doing in the athletic department.....looking at running shorts is beyond me since I haven’t RAN anywhere – let alone done any physical exercise in about 15 years, mind you….)  ….(HEY – DON’T JUDGE ME!)   

Anyway, I look at Cinnamon’s waist and she IS wearing a belt……around her waist….it’s white looking….kinda like yarn or twine or lace – or something like that…....and it's REALLY UGLY..…..and if the truth be known….it doesn't even look like a belt.........it looks totally ridiculous around her waist over her brown sweater!  And I'm thinking WTF? 

I look at her – I grab it and I say, (and I quote):  “What the hell is this?  You look ridiculous ......were you gonna buy this rope belt thing or something?’   ...(maybe it's the Vodka talking ...and I'm thinking maybe I AM drunk....)......She looks at me like I'm crazy and replies, "What are you talking about?"  ..................she glances down at where I'm grabbing her lacy-belt-rope-thingy and her eyes get wide........I mean like a 'Deer in Headlights Kinda Wide!'  

Come to find out - the white looking rope-twine-lacy thing around her waist wasn't a belt at all....
Get this - People!
(.........you're gonna freakin' DIE........)
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It's her freakin' THONG UNDERWEAR .........evidently, sometime during the day the crotch of her underwear had broken/ripped apart and her thong had creeped up around her waist and eventually made it up over her sweater.........

Once she figured out what it was, she ripped it off - totally mortified and we both laughed our asses off.........she'd been freakiin' wearing her ripped underwear around her waist all day long.............
Freakin' PRICELESS!!!!!

5 comments:

  1. OOOMMMMMGGGGGG!!

    i am laughing so hard that my eyes won't open... little tiny china slits for eyes.... oh my! i hope my fingers are on the right keys as i type this out ....

    holy hell that is the funniest thing i've read in a seriously long time!!!

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  2. I can't freaking stop laughing. You totally should have got a picture of it. That would have made this post even better.

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  3. Jennifer..you must have inherited your unique talent for entertaining from your mother.If you had a tv show, I would watch it.

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  4. OMG...I can't wait to see her Saturday!

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  5. This is the funniest thing I've ever heard!

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