1.) Apparently, my daughter seems to think she's got what SHE CALLS...."Reflexes of a Cat!" (whatever that means.............)
2.) I learned that when you are a poor college students, when it comes to partying …. the main philosophy is to get drunk QUICK and CHEAP! (..............say hello to shots of 'Cheap Vodka'.........)
3.) Apparently, my daughter never knew that I spent time in JAIL! (.........remember the night I was dressed as "I Dream of Jeanie" passed out in my car and I puked on the cops boots.............remember that story?) Well, I guess I THOUGHT SHE KNEW! ............here I am talking about the story and here she is - like - "MOM? You spent time in JAIL?" .....OOPS!
.............which leads us to..................
Number 4.) Looks like I wasn't as great as mother as I thought I was (after all these years)...............seeings how (according to her story) I used to leave her and her brother home with a babysitter who locked them in their rooms, let them watch the movie "IT" ...................and ....................one time when a babysitter called me home one night, because my daughter had fell and split her head open........well, apparently all that my daughter can remember now is - how mad I was because I had to come home early! (........now .........I don't really think these things happened........isn't it obvious that my daughter is making these things up and trying to make me feel bad after all of these years?!)
AND 5.) When it comes to 'Super Human Powers', my daughter would rather be able to 'FLY' - rather than have the ability to 'Teleport'. Trust me - I TRIED to talk her into teleporting (..........MY 'Super Human Power' of choice, just so you know........) but she REFUSED to listen..... despite all my warnings and downfalls of flying. The conversation kinda went like this:
"Brooke, have you ever thought that you might be flying high - up in the air...........and helllllllooooooooooo............it could start raining! (...ever think of that?) Or.....what about luggage? What are you gonna do? Carry it all while your flying?.................and have you ever thought you may get hit by an airplane?................. seriously......................................now look at it at MY point of view..........maybe I'm about to get savagely attacked by a bear .....well, all I have to do is use my teleportation powers.....and presto - I disappear and the bear would never know what hit em' ................ OR.........maybe I have an urge to know what my boyfriend (Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson) is doing right now .........well all I have to do is twitch my nose and there I am....standing in the bathroom in front of the shower....listening to the water run and I can see his silhouette in the shower (behind the clouded glass) ....all by himself, lathering himself and I could..................................WELL? You see where I'm going with this, Right?"(Well, apparently, my daughter did not!) She would rather fly thru a thunderstorm, soaking wet and CARRYING her luggage - than pull a 'Samantha on Bewitched' and be making out with Dwayne naked in a shower!) (Maybe she was adopted!)
