OK……. I love “Hooters Wings”………… who doesn’t?
In fact, (if the truth be known) …….I love GOING to Hooters ……..mostly, so I can admire the ‘Hot, Little, Anorexic, Hooter Bar-Maids’ who wear the “too-tight” tank tops with their “skin-tight” short shorts! (And no, I’m not a lesbian!)
But, as much as I love admiring those ‘little hotties’ dressed in orange and white, my husband loves gawking at them even more than I! This really doesn’t bother me, because he’s just being a typical man, right? Doing what any typical man would do………….stare at beautiful women (especially ones who are half dressed and falling out of their tops for everyone to see!) I just laugh at him; tell him to put his tongue back in his mouth, and remind him that I looked like that once, back when I was 20 years old, and before I had children! Get real………most of these girls are 18 – 22 years old! They’re babies………. of course they look good! See my point? Enough said!
Well, as you know, Rob and I go to Florida every year in December and sell Christmas trees from our Christmas tree tent. And wouldn’t you know, less than a mile away is a “Hooters.” It’s tradition that we stop and enjoy some wings a couple of times each year, while we’re in Florida.
Well, one night after work (about 10:00PM) we decide to order wings to go, and pick them up on the way home from the tent. Granted, by this time, after working about 13-14 hours in the hot sun, I look like total CRAP…..(been working all day with trees and wreaths, I have sap all over me, I’m sweating like a hog, my make-up is completely gone, my hair is in a dishevel, I’m filthy, and all I want to do is go back to our house, eat my wings, have a beer, take a shower and go to bed!) So we leave the tent and arrive at Hooters a couple of minutes later and I tell Rob to just go in and get the wings (we’ve pre-ordered) and I’ll wait in the car for him…………………….. I wasn't too keen on mingling with the ‘perfect looking Hooters girls’, while I myself looked like “total dog shit”, right?
In fact, (if the truth be known) …….I love GOING to Hooters ……..mostly, so I can admire the ‘Hot, Little, Anorexic, Hooter Bar-Maids’ who wear the “too-tight” tank tops with their “skin-tight” short shorts! (And no, I’m not a lesbian!)
But, as much as I love admiring those ‘little hotties’ dressed in orange and white, my husband loves gawking at them even more than I! This really doesn’t bother me, because he’s just being a typical man, right? Doing what any typical man would do………….stare at beautiful women (especially ones who are half dressed and falling out of their tops for everyone to see!) I just laugh at him; tell him to put his tongue back in his mouth, and remind him that I looked like that once, back when I was 20 years old, and before I had children! Get real………most of these girls are 18 – 22 years old! They’re babies………. of course they look good! See my point? Enough said!
Well, as you know, Rob and I go to Florida every year in December and sell Christmas trees from our Christmas tree tent. And wouldn’t you know, less than a mile away is a “Hooters.” It’s tradition that we stop and enjoy some wings a couple of times each year, while we’re in Florida.
Well, one night after work (about 10:00PM) we decide to order wings to go, and pick them up on the way home from the tent. Granted, by this time, after working about 13-14 hours in the hot sun, I look like total CRAP…..(been working all day with trees and wreaths, I have sap all over me, I’m sweating like a hog, my make-up is completely gone, my hair is in a dishevel, I’m filthy, and all I want to do is go back to our house, eat my wings, have a beer, take a shower and go to bed!) So we leave the tent and arrive at Hooters a couple of minutes later and I tell Rob to just go in and get the wings (we’ve pre-ordered) and I’ll wait in the car for him…………………….. I wasn't too keen on mingling with the ‘perfect looking Hooters girls’, while I myself looked like “total dog shit”, right?
Keep in mind, Rob’s reply was, “OK, hun, no problem, I’ll be right back in a few minutes!”
Well, about 10 minutes later, (me still waiting in the car) I start to get antsy……..THEN after about 15-20 minutes, I’m starting to get worried. What if something’s really wrong in there? Should I go in to see what’s keeping him? I know……………. Rob must have gotten sick and fainted (while in Hooters), and no one knows I’m his wife and I’m outside waiting in the car……I’m seriously anticipating an ambulance rolling into the parking lot any moment now. ………………No…………. maybe there’s a drunken fool inside and Rob and he have gotten in a bar fight over our hooter wing order……maybe the drunken idiot pulled a gun and tried to take our ‘wings’ after Rob had already paid for them……………25 minutes, now…………Or, maybe somebody mugged him in the bathroom and Rob’s laying unconscious on the floor bleeding from a head wound………..Oh my Gosh, I’ve got to get to Rob…………Ok ..............that’s it………I’m going in!
With the car door open and one leg on the ground, I look up and here comes Rob, out of Hooters. Is he whistling? He’s actually smiling!
“What the Hell happened in there?” I say. “What took you so long?” “Are you OK?”
“Nothing, they screwed up our order, they forgot to put it in, and so I had to wait.” He replies.
“For 25 minutes? You waited in there for 25 minutes for the order, with me in the car?” I say.
“You said you didn’t want to come in ‘cause you looked like Shit, so they offered me a beer and I just sat at the bar and waited. “ He replies. "They had the game was on."
“And you didn’t think it was necessary to come out to the car and tell your wife that the order was delayed and maybe invite her in to have a beer with you? 25 minutes, Rob………are you kidding me?”
“I was going to come out, but then they gave me another beer, so I just sat there and drank that one too. No big deal………….. I’ve got the order and now we can go.” He replies.
Unbelievable…………Now, JUST so you all have this straight………. This is what it boils down to……... MY husband, enters HOOTERS, sets in the bar and has not ONE, but TWO beers, while I (sweaty, hot, tired, and dieing of thirst) wait patiently in the car! Are you kidding me! Who does that?
At the time, I was in such awe that he would do such a thing, that I actually laughed unbelievably! I was both pissed and dumbfounded!
Trust me, he’ll never do that again! (But it makes for a great story, doesn’t it?)
LOL, what a great story! Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDelete