Monday, September 21, 2009

Not Another Cheeseburger Story!

Ok, so after a night of drinking and hanging out with friends……of course my husband and I have got the munchies.

I, being the designated driver, pull into McDonalds for a late-night burger! (Oh My Gosh……… my mouth is watering, just thinking about the greasy cheeseburger that I’m about to devour!) Rob orders one Big Mac and fries and I order just one Big Mac. Rob decides to inhale the burger and fries on the way home to my mom and dads house…………….which is where we are planning to spend the night tonight. (My parents have left the door unlocked for us and have left the outside light on because …..let’s face it………….my parents are old and there’s no doubt that they’ll be in bed by the time we get home tonight!)

I tell Rob that I certainly don’t NEED to be eating a cheeseburger at 1:30AM, but oh, well……I’m hungry. And as I’m driving, I’m salivating from the aroma of the cheeseburger that Robs inhaling next to me.

So we get to my parents house, right? I hurry into the bathroom to relieve myself (because of course I have to go to the bathroom) and when I return to the kitchen, Rob’s got my Big Mac open and is in the process of removing the pickles!


“I’m gonna eat your burger, cause I’m still hungry!” Rob says.

“What do you mean you’re going to eat my burger?” I reply. “You just ate yours. That one’s mine!”

“You said you shouldn’t eat it anyway. You said you shouldn’t have ordered it because you shouldn’t be eating cheeseburgers at this time of night!” Rob says. (Great, he picks this time to actually pay any attention to what I say! Any other time, he'd be ignoring me!)

“I don’t care what I said. That Big Mac’s mine! Don’t touch it!” I say.

“OK, I’ll split it with you.” He says.

(Are you kidding me?) “What do you mean; you’ll split it with me? You just ate a whole burger and fries. This one’s mine! I’m not gonna split it with you!” I say. “Quit touching it!”

Rob proceeds to cut it into two equal pieces. “Come on, Hun! You eat half, and I’ll eat half!” He says.

(I am so PISSED!)
“No, I’m not going to split the burger………….that’s MY Big Mac! I’m either eating the WHOLE thing or I’m not eating ANY OF IT! I say.

“Hun, do you know how ridiculous that sounds?” He says.

I stair at him! And then I stand in disbelief and watch my husband eat half of MY burger!

“Fine………you eat the dam burger!” (I’m pouting now...........I can't believe he ate half of my cheeseburger!) “I’m not coming to bed, I’m going to stay out here in the living room and read!” I say!

He walks into the bedroom…………then I wait to hear his snoring and then I, of course, sneak into the kitchen and eat the rest of MY Big Mac! (But I'm still pissed!)

OK, get this…………… (The next morning, I ask my dad if he heard us come in last night. My dad says he didn’t actually hear us come in, but says that he almost burst out laughing last night when he heard us bickering over a cheeseburger. He says he had to actually put his hand over his mouth to keep from bursting out laughing in bed and waking up my mother, when I said (and I quote) ‘I’m either eating the WHOLE thing or I’m not eating ANY OF IT!)
Photo courtesy of microsoft clipart

1 comment:

  1. LOL! Ok, I would have been PISSED! Because it's not just any old burger, it's a Big Mac {btw, thanks... now I'm toyally craving one :/}. On the other hand, your husband just cut the caloric intake in half {not to mention all of the other bad junk}.


    You want to get him back? Make bacon for breakfast, get the plates ready and then before bringing it to the table eat his and all of yours but one half of the last piece. That will teach him.



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