Friday, February 5, 2010

It was bound to happen........

One day earlier this week -one morning - my boss brought me in a bottle of wine. (He makes his own wine and beer, by the way!) He said it was for me – to go with my homemade macaroni and cheese! (………… I’m like………what’s up with that?) (........my boss never brings me wine, by the way!?)..............did I miss something? Is it my birthday?............secretaries day?..............…………..did I tell you that I made homemade macaroni and cheese last night?..............how in the heck did you know I made macaroni and cheese? That’s weird………….(insert me - staring - thinking - weird look on my face..........)

OMGAWD.......................just then ................................it hit me……...........like a ton of bricks ....................(I can only imagine my expression at that very moment.........................staring at him .........blank faced....................with that ‘deer in headlight look!”)

Yes, you guessed it..........By GAWD, girlfriends, he's found my blog! (How the HELL did that happen? .........I mean I only broadcast that I have a blog to like........EVERYONE!)

Ok..............so then he precedes to start rattling off a few things from previous posts.........................like how I want to retire, like real SOON......and my new "$15.00 Walmart hair"(which I haven't worn yet, by the way)...........and about how lazy I am ................and how I eat all the time (which he already knows anyway, right? Hellloooooo, he works with me, remember?)...................................what? did this guy stay up all night reading my posts - memorizing them............just so he could come to work and recite them word for word to me............................and scare the shit out of me?................ OK, maybe that's an exaggeration............

So FINE.........he's seen my blog (and he's probably going to start reading it on a consistent basis right? Let's be real.......) So with that in mind........I just told him:

"FINE..................if you wanna start reading my blog, go ahead............. but be warned......your probably gonna find out way more than you really want to know about me, okay? (......like how I have little black hairs growing out of my chin and my nipples and how I pee my pants ....like ....all the time..........) I ask you? Is this really stuff you want to know about me? Think about it!"

So that night - I spend all night long - going through all my posts, making sure there's nothing incriminating on my blog..............(well, maybe not - because I'm not really worried, actually.......) I live my life - like my blog......(open book, girlfriends)........and my bosses already know I'm a dork and I've been arrested and I LOVE cheeseburgers and I have fake hair and I like to drink and I collect Tequila bottles and I pee my pants...................

Time will tell, won't it! (Cross fingers!)

1 comment:

  1. It's freezing at your end. I hope you are staying warm and enjoying every bit of style and fashion you can get hold of :D

    Trust me I too would feel a surge of guilt if I had that kind of mass suicide happening at my glass window.

    I hope the bird feeders get your message right.

    Keep warm and let's stay in touch :)

    Cheers!!

    ReplyDelete

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