List of things that are irritating me today at work today:
1.) The sprinklers are ON at work and it’s raining outside! (…..absolutely drives me freakin’ nuts, Bill…)
2.) I ran out of Vodka! (….sucks………nothing to put in my orange juice today….) .....(Note to self: Buy Vodka on my lunch-hour....)
3.) The under-wire in my bra is jabbing me in the rib! (…I just checked and my right side is raw and bloody right now…I’m seriously thinking of taking off my bra right now…) I’ll try stuffing paper towel under my bra and see if that works.
4.) I sneezed and peed myself so I’m walking around with a sweater tied around my waist all day – reeking of urine! (Not the cat piss that I rub all over my body to keep the garden gnomes away, but MY urine!) I sprayed myself with the bathroom deodorizer to camouflage the pee smell…..and accidentally sprayed it in my eyes and so now my eyes are swollen, red and watering and everyone keeps asking me why I’m crying!. (…I don’t know why I sprayed it on my head to begin with …..it’s not like I peed on my face…it’s not my head that reeks of urine…helllllooooo……)
5.) Paper towel isn’t working, people…..I’m walking around all day with paper towel falling out of my blouse and now half the office thinks I’m STUFFING MY BRA!
Is it 5 o'clock yet? ....(...GEEZ.....)