Wednesday, May 6, 2015

You're Sucking Me Dry, Princess!

           So Hairyman has been 'ON ME' to find a Job! 
(and I don't mean  'ON ME' ....like.....sexually....like missionary style....
......doing the 'bed sheet dirty dance' and all...)
I MEAN like 'ON ME' like.... 'Riding my Ass'.....Nagging Me....
.........telling me that I need to start helping out financially around here! 
 
 I believe his exact words were ......(...and I quote....)
 "WE ARE POOR!' "YOU ARE SUCKING ME DRY!"
and 
"YOU NEED TO GET A JOB, PRINCESS!"
 
Really??  Doesn't he know WE ARE NOT POOR!
.....and I'm WAY TOO PRETTY to work?  
Doesn't he know that I quit my job? 
Doesn't he understand that I didn't quit my job to 'FIND ANOTHER JOB!' 
.........helllooooooo...... 
 
Doesn't he know that I'm a Trophy Wife.......and.....
 'TROPHY WIVES' DON'T WORK! 
 
(Evidently, he doesn't have a clue!)....Damn him, Hairyman!!
 
You woulda thought after 2 years of not working, I'd have
come up with a plan by now to make some extra money without having to find
an actual job!  .........well, yeah....you would've thought that!
 
But it's not really like I haven't been thinking of things that I want to do with my life....
...like.........I'd love to be a STRIPPER...
because I love to dance....and I like being naked.....
but I can't be a stripper...because I'm FAT and I'm OLD and I'd get way
too tired staying up THAT LATE at night! .....
.....(.....and I really don't need another reason to embarrass my children!)
(....but mostly because I'm FAT and nobody wants to ACTUALLY SEE ME NAKED....
and nobody is going to pay money to see me flopping around on a pole shaking
my 'MUFFIN TOP' and DOUBLE CHIN!')
 
....and I want to be a COP...
but I'm pretty sure I can't be a Cop...
....because I've got a record...
...and I can't RUN...(... I'm pretty sure I'd never catch anyone in a Police Chase!) 
......but mostly because I don't like GUNS! 
(...and I'm pretty sure Cops HAVE to carry Guns....and shoot people....and I'm not sure I'd enjoy shooting people.......except for stupid people.....now stupid people I could shoot.....or ugly people.....I'm pretty sure I could shoot ugly people, too!)
 
Oh....(back to the point)......  I'm scared of Felons and Criminals! 
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'd never make it as a Cop!
 
So yeah, basically I've spent the last 2 years of my life
being PRETTY, having FUN and being a 'TROPHY WIFE' 
(.... while I'm not thinking of being a Stripper or a Cop, that is...) 
 
  Yeah....I've been way to busy to be worrying myself about 
Hairyman and mines financial situation. 
 
I have a feeling that's gonna change!
(........bribing him with 'Sexual Favors' just isn't cuttin' it anymore!)

 

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