Freakin' Flies, Anyway!

So this last summer, for some reason - in my camper……… there were tons of flies….EVERYWHERE! 

So I go to the store and I buy these ‘Fly Strips’…….(….the kind you unravel and hang from the ceiling and they’re really long and they’re really sticky and the flies are supposed to land on the sticky paper and die a slow boring - probably uncomfortable agonizing death!) 

And while we’re away from the camper, I figure I’ll just hang these sticky things all over ......hoping that when I return, these sticky strips will have done away with all the pesky flies in my camper, right?

Well…..things don’t always turn out the way that I envision them in my head!

So after a week away, I get to my camper and I’m ready for a weekend of relaxation – Fly Free!  I take down all of the hanging fly strips that I can find and dispose of them.  (There are still freakin’ flies all over my camper….. but that’s beside the point!) 

So I get up that night to use the toilet….(…keep in mind that it’s fairly dark in the bathroom of the camper!)  I sit down and ‘do my thing’….and when I stand up from using the toilet, I feel something against my head!  I cock my head to one side and feel something now ‘stuck to the side of my head’ …..which sends me into a ballistic fit of terror!  I reach up and my hand comes in contact with the sticky-ness of the YES – you guessed it!  (I had somehow missed a sticky fly paper hanging above the toilet!)   

  So picture me………… I’m dancing around – in the pitch darkness of the camper bathroom .......... arms flailing wildly in rogue horror….with a FLY COVERED sticky paper trap not only entangled in my hair at this point – but now stuck to my fingers and I’m bumping around like a pinball machine against the cabinet doors and the walls of the bathroom going berserk……losing my balance as I trip over the toilet………. it’s a miracle I didn’t go crashing thru the glass shower door and get impaled by a shard of glass to the neck!

I manage to make it to the light switch….turn on the light…….and my hair is in a dishevel – the fly strip is stuck in my hair in a tangled mess……… freakin’ dead flies all over the place.....in my hair.......on the floor........stuck to my fingers.........on the side of my face......! 

In all the excitement, my dog, Max, awakens and comes prancing into the bathroom………and "Are you ‘Freaking Kidding Me?"      There's another ‘Sticky Fly Strip’ dragging behind him….full of dead flies……(..... that he has somehow gotten into in the night...)..... and it’s now stuck to the side of his head and down the side of his body! 

...........Is there no end to this STICKY FLY TRAP HORROR?