Artificial Nails Goodbye!

I decided to tear off all my ‘artificial nails’ this morning….....(…not a particularly good idea by the way.........…just so you know!)

I’d wanted them off for weeks, but the little suckers showed no sign of popping off on their own …………. so I decided to take matters into my own hands......(.....because God forbid that I would actually go to a Nail Salon and have a professional take them off for me!)   

So this morning I soaked them in ‘Acetone.’  

The bottle read:

‘Professional Maximum Strength 100% Pure Acetone’

………but I truly believe that a better name for this liquid would be

 ‘Highly Potent Liquid Chemical Lava!’

I soaked them in this ‘chemical molten mixture’ for 1/2 hour……(…...and I will have you know that - this too - was not one of my greatest of ideas!)  

   The bottle instructions read …(.....and I quote):    "Place fingers in bowl of Acetone and allow to soak for 15 minutes maximum……"

(....'MAXIMUM' being the key word here!) 

Well, these ‘fake little devil nails’ were still 'stuck like gorilla glue' to my nail beds......... so I decided to ‘give it a go’ for another 15 minutes.......….

(..…again….not a particularly splendid idea on my part.)

After 30 minutes of soaking in this volcanic fluid, my artificial nails FELT NOW like they'd been hot glued to the ends of my fingers.....(...which by the way, is NOT a delightful feeling!)  

So I preceded to 'Plan B': ……...(...and what - you may ask is plan B?...)   ......well.....to TEAR these 'demon nails' from my THROBBING fingertips of course! 

AGAIN ............. ANOTHER BAD IDEA!

So here we are……….and here I sit.........  nursing my 10 pulsing bloody finger stubs!

Oh.....and guess what.....I can actually FEEL my heartbeat in my fingernails now.........(..well, the fingernails that I have left, anyway) .....and it's not a really desirable feeling.............just so you know!

What fresh HELL is this?