Have I told you lately how AWESOME I am?

I’m a terrible friend………but I’m not going to take all the blame……how many times have I told you people that you can’t expect TOO MUCH out of me!


Last month, my good friend, Dazee Dreamer, over at ‘Crazy Daze & Nite Dreams’ gave me an award BECAUSE I'M SO AWESOME.....helllloooooooo.    She’s pretty awesome herself and I like her a lot!  I can seriously say that she’s ALMOST as funny and ALMOST as cool as me!   ALMOST!   So if you haven’t went and checked out her blog…..quit being lame and go say hello ….be sure to tell her that I sent you over……actually – if you visit her blog and mention my name, you’ll get a free 48 inch flat-screen TV and a paid subscription to People magazine…….(…..NO - not really…..I just made that up…..she probably won’t give you anything…….but go visit her anyway…..She’s really funny!)

Anyway….she gave me a ‘Versatile Blogger Award’ because I’m SO COOL!

So now I have to tell you 7 things about myself….so here goes…..

1.) I drank A Lot of beer last night and I’m really Gas-y today! I keep farting and blaming it on my co-worker……you know - the one that nobody likes!

2.) If I take all of my clothes off and stand sideways naked in the mirror – I look pregnant!

3.) I LOVE to be the center of attention and I like to talk about myself constantly! (I KNOW you already know this….but sometimes I feel like I need to refresh your memory every now and then!)

Yes, I know……..that’s only 3 things…..but I can’t think of anything else right now – so deal with it!    Oh and another thing, I’m supposed to give this award to a few others that are deserving, but I’m being a BITCH today and don’t feel like sharing!

……………… thanks again Dazee! You’re the Best!

Do you know how 'Cool' I am?

I've been on vacation for the last week (I'll have to tell you all about it.....but that's another post altogether)........and imagine my surprise when I returned home............to see that I got an award!    OMGosh, people..........I'm sooooo excited!   (In fact, I just peed myself!)

My new friend Sharon - over at 'It's Random, But Relevant - To Me' is so cool........ and funny and she's strong (not 'He-Man' Strong, but mentally - emotionally strong, that is............well........she COULD be really strong......maybe she lifts weights and stuff....but I'm not sure......... I just know she's 'One Tuff Cookie' in the 'living life' category!)    And she's pretty (I mean - not as pretty as me........hellllooooo.....but she's really close to being as pretty as me...........I'm just sayin').....anyway.....she thinks I'M funny and she gave me the 'LOL Award'!  So she's my new best friend, now!  You'll have to go check her out at her Blog!  She's a really 'Neat Lady!'  ...........in fact, we're best friends now........(.......I'm not sure she knows we're best friends yet, but trust me........we are!) 

So - I got this award.................and I'm feeling all 'Big Headed' and 'Sure of Myself' and 'Awesome' and thinking that 'My SH*T Don't Stink' now............(yeah............ you can thank my good friend, Sharon, for that.......thank you very much)..........so now I have to follow the rules of the award!

.......The rules for this Award are as follows:

1.) Link to the person who awarded you...........(for those of you who haven't been paying attention... that's SHARON at 'It's Random, But Relevant - To Me' ..........try to keep up, people!)

2.) State 7 unknown facts about yourself........I listed 6 ............(....yeah....I know............I broke the rules.......so sue me!)

         1. Sometimes I like to pretend I'm a vampire! (......I mean  - I don't go ahead and bite peoples neck and suck their blood and other creepy stuff like that......I'm just sayin'.....but vampires are Cool!)

         2. Sometimes I put my 'Coyote Ugly Buttless Chaps' on and walk around the house - when no one else is home....(.....and I look at my *SS in the mirror...to see how fabulous it looks....)

         3. My son is getting married in 5 months and not only will this wedding be all about the 2 of them..............but it definitely will be 'all about me'  as well............(cause' everything is usually ALL ABOUT ME.................)  ........(.......helllooooooo.......mother of the groom..........)

          4. I'm a 'Closet Eater' and I have been for quite some time..........(.......I'm not gonna lie.......I like to EAT when no one is around..........usually ends up with food being all over my face!)

          5. I've become seriously obsessed with 'Garden Gnomes' (....and not in a good way, people.....) ......they seriously FREAK ME OUT ...............in fact.......... I'm in the works creating another blog dedicated to the evils of these little 'red-hatted' killers!   ....(yeah, I know....not another 'Gnome Blog'.......)

          6.  I'd leave HairyMan in a heartbeat for Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson!  (.....and HairyMan's OK with that! ........I really don't think he's too worried...)..........I'm just sayin'..............
3.) Award to Seven other people who you think are funny.....(I picked 6!.........yeah, I know....I broke the rules again.........Hey, Sharon.......don't even think of takin' this award away from me..............)

           *SumSum over at Disco Lemonade :  She's the crazy neighbor your parents warned you about!

   *Laura over at Fetch My Flying Monkeys:  I just found her blog.......and I haven't quite figured her out yet!
*Chrissy over at I Shoulda Been a Stripper: I'm new to this blog, but I like her...in fact we may become best friends..........she wants to be a Stripper and thinks she's a Vampire!  :):)
   *Alexis over at One Cluttered Brain:  She cracks me up with her 'vlogging', she's funny, and she's not afraid to let her hair down!
 *Dazee Dreamer over at Crazy Daze and Nite Dreams:  I never read a post without laughing.......she thinks I'm funny and I think she's funny...so we have a lot in common!
   *Sandra over at Absolutely Narcissism:  I stumbled upon this blog and now I'm addicted! 

                                      Thanks, Sharon.....you're the BEST! 

Wanna celebrate with me? You bring the Tequila, I'll bring my 'Butt-less Chaps'!

I’m so excited I could just pee myself!
I now officially have '100 followers' on my blog and I’m all bubbly and star-struck!   If you could see me now – I’m up on an end table in my living room doing the ‘groin-grind’ and ‘fist pump’ and mouthin’ the words to ‘I am woman hear me roar!’

All thanks too my new friend,  Jenny ............she found my blog on-line and actually likes me (………..probably because she doesn’t really know me too well, yet……….give her time…….before long - she’ll think I’m a weirdo, just like all you other people who read my blog…………..)   (......hey......what the 'freak' do all you people know anyway.........GEEZ!)     Anyway, my new friend, Jenny thinks I’m awesome and funny and gorgeous and smart and the best thing to hit the world since soft butter………..(well, she didn’t REALLY USE those words and ACTUALLY SAY those things about me….but …….helllloooooo……who wouldn't think I'm funny and 'HOT' and awesome and stuff?  )   …I think she’s pretty awesome too!   So you’ll have to go visit her at http://pearsonreport.blogspot.com/ and check her out.    NOTE:   Did you notice her name is Jenny, too?  (....yeah, she's a copy-cat......!)   In fact I think she went out and changed her name just so she could be like me......hellllooooooo.........  (No - not really......I just made that part up............... I'm pretty sure she was born with that name actually......but wouldn't it be cool if she DID go out and have her name legally changed to match my name - because she wanted to be just like me?.........that would be so 'freakin' awesome.............I mean........in a creepy-stalker-kind of way!   .......I'm just sayin'...........)

..................SO BECAUSE I now have 100 followers ……....I think it's only appropriate to tell you 100 interesting things about myself! ..........but stay tuned.........that's gonna have to be a whole 'nother post! (......you know how I detest LONG posts........)


So.....I'm sending a big THANK YOU instead - to all of my followers (or people who just stop by my blog secretly when know one is looking) who make time in their day to read my blog and stay tuned!  I know how busy you all are with your lives and it makes me feel special to know you're reading my stuff!  You're the best!

Yeah.....(...yeah, I just have to add...........) that word must be getting around how COOL I am........(....not that it should surprise you all.......what with it all being about me! )  Yes, if you're NEW to my blog - you should know "Life is All about Me!"  (..........hey it's MY blog!   I can write what I want!)  

I've kinda summed it up like this:  "I think I'm like this really annoying girl that just won't go away......and you don't even really like me.....in fact you find me kind of conceded and irritating........ and as much as you try to ignore me............I just keeps popping up and won't leave you alone............so you find yourself just continually coming back for MORE!"       

Things That Bring Joy to My Life.....

Today I happened to be snooping around 'One Cluttered Brain's' Blog......who happened to be snooping around 'Scary Mommy's' Blog...and both of them were talking about what gives them Joy in their lives......  So I thought I'd join in too, for a chance to win a 'ONE THOUSAND DOLLAR American Express Gift Check' to spend on anything that I want.....so here's the...... 
Simple things that bring Joy to my life:  (in no particular order)
1.)  Finding a $20.00 bill in my pocket. (.....in a jacket or a pair of jeans that I haven't wore in weeks.)
2.)  Getting a phone call from my kids. (...for no specific reason...just to talk.)
3.)  Ice Cream (specifically 'Strawberry CheeseQuake' or 'MooseTracks')
4.)  Going out to eat! (.... for Cheeseburgers!)
5.)  Stepping on the scales to find I've lost weight. (...even one pound, I'm not picky!) 
6.)  A clean house (...that I didn't have to clean!)
7.)  An Ice Cold Beer (or Margarita, or Red Bull & Vodka, or Sparks, or Vodka & Tonic......well....you get the picture.....) after a long day at work.

8.)  When my husband tells me he loves me... (just out of the blue, for no reason at all.....and he hasn't even done anything that requires forgiveness.)
9.)  Playing 'hookie' from work. (...and doing absolutely nothing all day long but laying around in my pajamas, curled up on the couch with an afghan, watching 'Lifetime' movies, eating chocolate chip cookies, french fries, tuna fish sandwiches and drinking cappiccinos and Red Bull all day long.)
10.)  Having an awesome 'Hair Day'! (....and then seeing lots of friends around town - that you haven't seen in awhile - who happen to look like SHIT!)
11.) An entire day watching a 'Two and A Half Men' and 'Til Death' Marathon on TV.
12.)  Finding out my 'Long-Lost-Great-Step-Uncle-Twice-Removed' has passed and left me $25,000.00.
13.)  A broken or smashed 'Garden Gnome'  (...gnomes are evil, my friends!)

So what brings you Joy?

“This post is part of SOYJOY‘s What brings you Joy contest. Learn more here.”

Somebody Thinks I'm Cool!....Can you believe it!?

I GOT AN AWARD......my first one......and I'm SO excited I about peed myself! 

Along with this award, there are some rules that have to be followed.  The rules are as follows: 
1. Thank the person who gave you this award.


2. Share 7 things about yourself.


3. Pass the award along to 5 bloggers who you have recently discovered and who you think are fantastic!


4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.

A Special Thank You to my new friend Angie at "Like She's Somebody' at http://www.likeshessomebody.com/  for presenting me with this award!    She's my favorite friend right now.......Thank You, Angie!
Here are seven (7) things about me:
1.  I collect Tequila Bottles.   (I have 31 different bottles, so far.)
2.  I'm scared of 'Garden Gnomes'.  (They seriously FREAK me out!)
3.  I'm getting a tattoo this summer (Red Lips on my Butt!)...and I'm so excited about it!
4.  I just turned 44 years old this month and HairyMan got me a treadmill for my birthday!  (And I love it!)
5.  I love Cheeseburgers!
6.  I'm hopelessly in love with Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson!
7.  I know how to do Michael Jackson's 'Thriller Dance'
 
I'm giving this award to the following bloggers....these women are funny, talented, creative and beautiful, (both inside and outside):
1. Sasha at 'Lemonade Makin' Mama' - http://www.lemonademakinmama.com/
2. Assertive Wit at 'A Little Less Coffee, My Voice and Babybottoms...Essentials To Your Day' -  http://assertivewitwithatouchofsarcasm.blogspot.com/
3. Eva at 'Wrestling with Retirement' - http://wrestlingretirement.blogspot.com/
4. Em Static at 'Heart and Hairspray' - http://heartandhairspray.blogspot.com/
5. Unknown Mami at http://www.unknownmami.com/
 
Thanks again, Angie!  Now I'm off to snoop around some blogs and make some more friends!

My Fake $15.00 Walgreen Hair....

The sun's a-shinin'.........the birds are chirpin'..........it's going to be a 70-80 degree day here in Michigan today.................yes, girlfriends........."Spring is Here!" ...................and I'm Happy! (.............and you know how everyone's a whole lot happier in my neighborhood - when I'm HAPPY..............)

.........AND.................I'm NOT one to BRAG............(well, maybe I am)...............(no, just kidding - not really)....................(ok.......... I am).....................BUT I DO have to SAY that I'm looking AWESOME today in my bermuda shorts, sandles, tan legs, sassy pink pull over...............AND.................MY New "Fake $15.00 Walgreen Hair!" ..............................(yes .............you know it..............today is the day, girlfriends......... that I'm sportin' my new hair.............first time ever...........)

And I look 'Fabulous!' (don't ya think?)..................not to mention that I look skinny in these pictures............... (oh....how I love snapshots that make me look skinny!)

I'm spending the entire day thinking of places I can go today to show off my "Fake $15.00 Walgreen Hair!".............because I don't think I've ever wore FAKE HAIR.........ever....................in my entire life............

Photos of ME!

Yes, I'm A Fan................

OK, it's official.........and I'm not embarrassed to admit it!

............................get ready for this 'blast from the past'..................................

I'm a Lionel Richie Fan! (There, I said it!)

He's talented.............he's not-TOO bad looking (I mean, he's not butt-ugly or anything..........OK, I'll admit he looks a lot better NOW - then he did back then! Looks aren't everything, OK?)................................... The man can sing!.................... he's a good dresser ...............he's got a cute daughter (who needs to eat a sandwich or two)................ he can dance on ceilings.............(who the hell ELSE can do that?)........................And he was a "Commodore" - for Gods Sakes! (Do I really need I say any more???)................. (All Hail to 'Brick House' and 'Slippery When Wet' .........by the way!)

I used to 'make out' with my boyfriend - to his songs all the time....uh...........back in the 80's! All I had to do was get out my 'Lionel Ritchie Cassette Tape' and he'd know for sure - that I was "IN THE MOOD!"

..................................Today was Lionel Ritchie day at work today, by the way.............that means I listened to Lionel Ritchie all day long on the internet, while working. (I'm sure I irritate the Hell out of my co-workers!.........Oh well - sucks to be them, doesn't it!?) (Aren't you glad you don't work with me?) Lionel's even got is own play list NOW - on my "YouTube Play-List" (......no worries - Chris Daughtry, you're still there too!.............and you're farther up the list, since C comes before L!) So now I'll be able to enjoy Lionel, whenever I want! (I love you - YouTube!)

Photo of Lionel Ritchie - courtesy of the internet